Tick-tock

I have a event countdown clock on my iPod Touch that I downloaded when I first committed to the half marathon, way back in January. I've looked at it a handful of times since then--it just doesn't resonate with me most of the time. But I opened the app today, just for fun, and that's when saw it.

27.

Twenty-seven. 2-7. Less than a month. Less than four weeks, even.

And I panicked.

Rapid heartbeat. Sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. A bit of a head rush. Oh yeah, that's some good adrenaline right there.

What's strange is that since I've been training, I've kept an Excel log of my training, dutifully marking off workouts as I complete them (or miss them--ha), so it's not like I didn't notice the weeks going by. Heck, I post a training recap here every week, and the last one--posted yesterday--was for week 8! So I KNOW the big day is creeping up steadily, stealthily. But I guess seeing it in bold, unmistakable numbers drove the point home. Somehow being on week 9 of a 12-week program isn't as intimidating as seeing 27 days left on a countdown clock.

Here's a sampling of what goes through my head when I stop to think about it all.

• Should I wear my water bottle waistpack?
• Will I be able to sleep the night before?
• What should I eat the night before?
• What should I eat the morning of?
• What time should I get up the morning of so that I have time to eat whatever it is I've decided to eat the morning of?
• What should I wear?
• Should I buy this shirt?
• Or maybe this one?
• Should I start taking engergy chews/gels now so I can practice?
• What if my toe hurts?
• Will I finish?
• Will I meet my goal-that's-not-really-a-goal-because-my-real-goal-is-just-to-finish-but-who-am-I-fooling-of-COURSE-I-have-a-time-goal goal?
• Will My Friend M regret spending the money on a plane ticket in order to come to BFE to run this silly, small-town race with me?

And on...

Despite my obvious neuroses, I feel like I'm ready. Wait--I feel like I'm going to be ready. As ready as one can be. Yes, you can always train more, but that's the case with any level of participant. I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, I'm nervous. Yes, I'm anxious. Yes, I wonder how my body will hold up and how badly it'll suck. Yes, I have a ridiculous amount of questions. But at the same time, I'm READY for it. I'm READY to be nervous and anxious and to feel sore and to see if my body can continue to push and do what I want it to do.*

27. Twenty-seven. 2-7. Less than a month. Less than four weeks. Ready or not...

*(Is this whole process supposed to be like pregnancy/childbirth? Seriously, people. I'm having major flashbacks here. I just hope there are fewer bodily fluids.)